From the back cover:
Bernardo Walterhaus is a detective on a mission: find a missing heiress that no one else can seem to locate. But this is no ordinary detective. Bernardo Walterhaus is the self-proclaimed "world's greatest detective," on the run from forced imprisonment in the Lombardo Institute For The Mentally Sub-Standard and yearning to save the day. The Mayor of Oberwalz is trying to put him back in the Institute (and wants him dead), his ex-partner hates his guts (and wants him dead), there are mercenaries following him (who want him dead), and he's hours behind everyone else on the case. But that won't stop Bernardo Walterhaus.
Armed with cunning wit, tremendous luck, and an unerring ability to find trouble, Bernardo will solve the case with the help of his driver and bodyguard, Ching Dic-Tofon, his favorte cab driver, "Sugah" Brown, and a pack of "Oberwalz's finest," the most vulgar and violent cops you could have on your side.
Bernardo will find an unlikely solution, without a clue or a good idea, as long as the mercenaries, gnomes, orderlies, exploding castles, fake Germans, angry competitors, plane crashes, burning office buildings, board meetings, boiling chocolate, fratboys, and criminal masterminds don't get him first.
A Bernardo Walterhaus novel, hand-crafted from aged mahogany by Ryan Speck.
The Big Rusty Lie is Ryan Speck's first published novel, released under his own Curbstomp Press imprint. It fairly well represents his sense of surreal and absurd comedy mixed with genre satire.
The novel is available wherever good books are sold online.
If you're really dead-set on having a signed copy, contact Ryan and he'll sell you one that's been autographed via the magic of Paypal.
Read Chapter 1 of The Big Rusty Lie or download a pdf copy:
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